Since You Forgot: The expression of pain from loss 

A captivating album created by an upcoming lyricist Dee Himes. He expresses his life through the means of storytelling, describing the hardships of a young man at the age of 17 who spiraled out of control. Becoming homeless led him to a life of robbing and breaking into homes until he was caught up. This led to his incarceration at the age of 19, and eight months later in his prison cell, he received a “Kite”, a prison letter: his best friend, partner in crime, and little brother had been murdered on December 2, 2016. Since then Dee Himes had been determined to change the situation he found himself in. Lost, in pain, and confused Dee focused on ways to cope with loss, and for the next seven years he developed his mind, and his spirit through knowledge-building, self-reflection, and music. Since You Forgot, is an inspired piece by the pain of the loss of his little brother Baam, from the amount of songs contained in the album to the release date itself. It is a tribute to those who have lost those closest to them and are on the Path of understanding that pain. 

Many of us believe we understand the depths of pain until we lose someone.

It is the hardest and most individualized form of enduring emotion, most end up losing themselves in the chaos. Repeating the cycle of rumination of that gut-awful feeling.

Dee Himes, knowing this feeling all too well, created this album to create a space for all ages and communities to unite together in the feelings of loss and recovery. 

It gets hard for most to even fathom or relive the moment you receive those dreaded words of losing someone to death. But to Dee Himes, he took that pain of reliving that moment of bad news and turned it into something beautiful for the world to hear. Take a listen to his upcoming album that drops on all social media platforms, Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube on March 14, 2024. For a sneak peek, listen to Dee Himes's single Addicted to pain on YouTube. 

Who is Dee Himes?

Dee Himes is a 27-year-old city boy raised in Houston, Texas. Adopted from the system at age 6, Dee Himes had understood the beginnings of his struggles through the streets at the age of 19 after he was sentenced to eight years in the Texas prison system Barry Telford Unit. Making parole in the seventh year, Dee had grown from a teenage boy with no purpose, and a childish mindset to a grown man with the perception of a realist and an extreme purpose to help those move through the struggles that he had faced on his own. In April of 2023 he was released, but seeing how the world has changed from key latch kids to high-tech communication, it caused overwhelm for Dee Himes. The way he could cope with the transition from institutionalized life to civilian freedom Dee Himes focused solely on Since You Forgot. With careful consideration and thought of how he wanted to express the pains he had experienced, he created this album for all age groups, creating an open space to connect with those who are still stuck in the game of the streets or the pain of loss. With this profound intention, Dee Himes started the beginning of his work with his first single Addicted To Pain, the first out of the story of his life in sixteen songs.

What is the purpose of Since You Forgot?

As a man starting from nothing, Dee understood that the changes he must make were not going to be easy. But at this moment, he had only known and felt pain, and wanted something more with it, so he took the change head-on. “Pain is a mental construct, even if it is not being felt by the other individual itself”(Himes,2024) Realizing that he had been ruminating over this feeling through deep self-reflection, Dee Himes understood that this was not going to go away for his mind became his prison. Accepting that the pain he is feeling is an ongoing process: it will never leave, but it will dull over time, Himes decided to take his perceptive reality of depression, suicidal thoughts, pain, and loss, and turn it into something worth living for: changing his reality through his perception. 

Addicted to Pain expresses this as he recalls the letter he received from fellow 1LaFamilia artist Jono Vito, the environment that he lived in at the time, and his feelings upon hearing about his little brother's passing. In the soul of Himes, he still lives in that day, reliving and grasping onto the thoughts of what ifs and whys as he sat in a four-wall box all alone. While everyone could visit his tombstone, Himes sat with the imagination of him still being alive for seven years, not believing the reality as denial and grief took over. When he is released, the first thing he does is go see his brother, this is the moment of reality where it hits him, his little brother is truly gone and now he has to accept. The music video captures this, through the night sky, the abandoned buildings he recorded in, the lyrics, and the black color clothes all help to assimilate the darkness and emptiness he felt for not being able to be there the day his brother died. 

Dee himes understood that this is not just a one-person kind of feeling, but an individualized expression of what humanity feels regularly. As Dee himes states “ Everyone has felt Pain, it is just that everyone interprets differently….One thing about pain, it demands to be felt” (Himes, 2024). Clear-minded and focused, Dee Himes understood and inner-stands the feelings of grief and pain, and how it is at the end of the day an individualized pain that must be felt to be able to move past the darkness into the light of creativity. He also understands that not everyone makes it past the anger and disbelief of their loved ones gone, he hopes that this will allow a clear view of the reality that we all find ourselves in and create a community where we as humans can move past the grief and the pain to a road of recovery.  

How is the album created?

With the road to recovery as the end goal, he expresses the truth of being a child trying to grow up too fast and the consequences that it left him now in his adult life. This is why the album is created in sixteen songs, each a chapter in Dee Himes's life expressing the beginning stages of grief to the final stages of being at peace. Even though healing is an ongoing process, Dee Himes still wanted others to know that they are not alone in this recovery of loss and that they do have someone who also understands the life of an inmate and the life of a grieving brother. The dates of his brother's death, his sentencing, and the time frames are all significant pieces for his album. The numbers of his life hold great significance in a symbolic way towards what he needed to do to not just heal but to share in communion with others who had felt similar experiences. 

Who is it for?

The album is a tribute to his little brother, but it is also for others who are struggling with the same feelings. It is for the youth who think that playing street games is for fun, and for the inmates that can never leave. It is for the old who are finally capable of grieving and for the young whose anger stops them from healing. 

Final Thoughts

Pain takes on many forms, and many of us do not even understand the depth and length that it can take to create a life of misery when not dealt with. Dee Himes understands that our society has come to a point of destruction because no one is allowing themselves to feel that pain and move past it. He sees how society has used pain as an excuse to keep doing the insane cycle of being in the streets, hustling through crime, and believing things will change. He knows that it is not easy to leave a life like that behind, but he also understands that his life amongst others is more important than the cheap short moment of thrill. Life is way too valuable and important to be throwing it away in childish games. He does not judge, but he takes what sees at face value, and moves through life accordingly. He may not have been the best child growing up, but as Dee Himes puts it “When I die, I won’t die how you remember me, if you knew me for being bad you’ll know me for good if you knew me for good you’ll know me for being great but I ain’t gone die how you remember me” (Himes, 2024). Go check out Dee Himes in all the cited platforms down below, and watch for his album to drop on March 14, 2024, may the light of love find every one of you in your hearts.  

Cited Resources 

The prison system dee himes went 

Instagram:Iamdeehimes

Facebook: Dee Himes

Tik Tok: Iamdeehimes

Youtube: DeeHimesTV

Apple Music: Dee Himes

Spotify: Dee Himes

Amazon Music: Dee Himes